• Register

Bag your nukes and put up your fists! It's time to punch aliens and save the planet from asteroids!

Post news Report RSS Atomic Super Lander Update #6 - Creature report: Space crabs!

Our crack team of googlers have found a big one! It seems to be a government report of a live alien D=

Posted by on

Report on EBE #1 (aka Snappy the space crab)

Description:

The creature seems to be somekind of wild animal, a scavenger if you will. The crab is roughly the size of a Volkswagen Beetle, sporting two massive claws and spiky feet, allowing it to crawl on walls and ceilings. Reports confirm a firm punch will dislocate them from any surface.

Passive in nature, it doesn't recognize humans and simply walks in a single direction, in what seems to be a ritualistic route. The purpose of this march is probably to eventually catch some kind of ugly alien meal.

They don't seem to be too intelligent and react on instinct instead. Many an attempted handshake at the early days of this research failed messily. Our reports confirm it is wise to stay out of their way, as they seem to have lightning fast reflexes and a reducing effect on the limbs of our brave astronauts.

Crab walking

Secret Bunker Street Nein, 27 October 30XX
Prof. Horst Wunderbaum
hammerspace.eu

Post a comment

Your comment will be anonymous unless you join the community. Or sign in with your social account: